


O Icarus, of Fearless Flight

by MagicTrashCan



Series: Love & Thunder [3]
Category: Actor RPF, British Actor RPF, Kong: Skull Island (2017), Real Person Fiction, Thor (Movies), Tom Hiddleston - Fandom
Genre: Angst, CW for descriptions of anxiety reactions and people drinking at a party, Conflict Resolution, F/M, Will these idiots FINALLY work their shit out?, maybe?? - Freeform, we love the collision of two braincells in this house
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-13
Updated: 2020-03-17
Packaged: 2021-02-28 16:40:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,155
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23130352
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MagicTrashCan/pseuds/MagicTrashCan
Summary: Mel hasn't spoken to Tom since that fateful night in Australia six months ago when everything fell apart. Now, she's attending the premiere for Kong: Skull Island.Surely, everything will be fine, won't it?
Relationships: Tom Hiddleston/Original Female Character(s)
Series: Love & Thunder [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1662565
Comments: 8
Kudos: 27





	1. March 8, 2017

**Author's Note:**

> Mel is my long-standing OFC who went to RADA with Tom, starred in the Thor movies as Sif (who is Loki's love interest in this universe), and they've been best friends ever since RADA. That all the major backstory you would need for this fic, but I recommend reading Cruel Summer to understand some of the references and get the Full Angst Effect.
> 
> OKAY I'M DONE RAMBLING enjoy <3 <3 <3

**March 8, 2017**

Mel took a deep, smooth breath and flattened the front of her skirt, the silky gold shimmering in the lights of passing traffic.  _ Almost time. _ She sighed and adjusted her sleeves, checked her black clutch for her phone, lipstick, meds, and mints. Everything seemed to be accounted for. And yet, when she sighed it left her feeling shakier than before.

“Christ,” she muttered under her breath.

“Stop that,” Thea chided, sitting across from her in the SUV.

Mel shook her head, willing the tightness in her chest to loosen, going through her list of  _ Positive Things _ as she’d practiced with her therapist, then she gave her friend a tight smile. “I’m okay. Just nerves, I think.”

Thea’s smile was sadder than Mel’s. Pitying, somehow. Mel felt the urge to snap at her over it, but she knew that she  _ was _ quite the pitiful creature.  _ What kind of 36-year-old woman simpers around, bitching and moaning about one man as if her whole life as ended? _ Thea was at her side, wiping at the budding tears in Mel’s eyes before they could fall and ruin her makeup.

“I’m sorry.” Mel took a shuddering breath and shook her head once, squeezing her friend’s hand. “I shouldn’t have come. This is stupid.”

“It’s not.”

“It is. We haven’t spoken since September, and here I am invading his space. For all I know he hates me. How fucking rude do you have to be to show up to the premiere for a movie starring someone who hates you?”

“He probably doesn’t hate you.”

“You can’t know that.”

“You’re right, I can’t. But I have a feeling.”

“Oh, I have plenty of those.”

They both laughed softly. Thea squeezed her hand.

“Do you hate him?”

“No.” The word left Mel on an exhale, quiet and without hesitation. “Never.”

“Then all you can do is show that. You’ll see him today, sure, but will you get to talk to him? Who knows. You know how hectic a premiere is. But if you do, just…show him you come in peace, et cetera.”

“Yeah.” Mel nodded twice and blinked back the remaining, residual tears. Their car pulled to a halt and outside they could already see the lights flashing. “You’re right. It’ll be fine.”

Thea tucked a loose strand of hair behind Mel’s ear and looked over her face. “I think you’re good to go.”

“You’re here for  _ fun _ , not work.”

“Tomato, toh-mah-toe.” She then straightened her own skirt and ran a hand over her edges to ensure none were out of place. “Alright. Let’s knock ‘em dead.”

Thea stepped out into the cacophony first, followed closely by Mel. They did the smile and wave. Mel signed a few pictures from fans waiting behind a barricade, took a few selfies, and then ducked into the blocked off area everyone stayed in until they walked the carpet. Thea, god love her, was already off and socializing. She was one of the most sought after makeup artists in Hollywood for more than just her skills. Thea’s way with people was graceful and calculated, and yet somehow still genuine. Everyone had an opinion on her, and it varied from absolute adoration to outright hatred.

Mel caught up to her, interrupting her and Sam Jackson’s conversation.

“Mel!” he cried, grinning and holding his arms out to her. She stepped into the hug with an easy smile. “I didn’t know if you’d make it.”

“And miss out on supporting my favs? As if. How are you doing?”

“Fine, fine. Ready to be at the after party already.”

“ _ That _ I agree with.” Thea scoped the area and when she found no caterers carrying drinks, frowned.

“You’re both no fun.  _ I’m _ excited to see the movie. Speaking of, Thea, I’m gonna go ahead in. Do you want to walk with me or stay here for a bit?”

“Mmmmm, fine. I’ll go with you. Sam?”

He shook his head. “I’m waiting on a friend. But I’ll see you both later?”

“Promise.” Mel leaned in and kissed his cheek. “See you soon.”

They weaved through the small crowd, nodding and saying hello and giving hugs as they went until they reached the edge of the walkway. Mel shook her head and hands and turned to Thea. “How do I look?”

“Perfect. Now  _ go _ .”

“ _ Fine _ .”

Mel laughed and walked out into the storm of flashing lights with the laugh still at her lips. Immediately, photographers shouted directions and commands at her, each one vying for a perfect shot. She propped her empty hand at her hip, careful not to jostle the black belt there while still accentuating the two inches of bare stomach between the long sleeved black turtleneck top and the floor length gold silk skirt. Someone called for an over the shoulder, so she did, and when she faced them front ways again she leaned into her right hip, exposing her leg and black knee high boot through the slit on the left of the skirt. Behind her, still not having stepped into the fray yet, Thea whistled, making Mel laugh again before waving to the photographers and moving on.

There were still sporadic flashes of light, but overall, this was the stretch for reporters. Mel thought about waiting for Thea, then decided on plunging forward. It would take her longer to make it through, after all.

Vanity Fair stopped her first with the expected questions.  _ How’s filming for Firebrand going? Are you excited to see some familiar faces on the screen tonight? Who are you wearing? _ All were fine, simple answers. After speaking to two more outlets with similar questions, Mel stepped back to get a glass of water from one of the girls near the back wall. She thanked her and surveyed the scene. Thea was ahead of her now, well on her way inside. Mel took stock of the remaining reporters. She didn’t  _ have _ to stop for all of them. She probably shouldn’t. Really, she was–

There he was. Just ten feet away. She couldn’t even see his face; he was absorbed with the reporter he was speaking to, as was his way. And she was absorbed too, without even seeing his full effect. Every thought of scheming out of the reporters, or any thought at all, evaporated.

She spun around to face the water girl again, rolling her shoulders and handing her empty glass to her again. It had only been seconds. She didn’t freeze for more than one. Everything was  _ fine _ .

_ You can’t dick around, Mel. Can’t show your hand in this game, not to these players. _

She turned and carried on, keeping a pristine camera smile in place, a warm voice and jovial attitude for everyone who stopped her, always just a few paces behind him. The voices and faces blurred together as she tried to swallow her panic. She could hear his voice sometimes through the din, and every time willed herself not to look.  _ Does he know I’m here? Is he struggling like me? What is he thinking?  _ She shook the hand of the E! reporter, finally deciding to call it and head inside, when a voice rang through the crowd.

“Michelle! Rumor has it you and Tom haven’t spoken since filming Ragnarok! Was Taylor Swift the source of the fight, or is there another reason your friendship with Tom is on the rocks?”

Mel gripped her clutch until her knuckles went white, her steps faltering.  _ Do not engage. Do not feed into it. Michelle, I swear to god, do not–  _ She turned on her heel and strode over to the reporter; slowly, smiling, poised. The man was smirking as she stalked toward him.

“I’m sorry, could you repeat that? I don’t think I quite heard you correctly.”

The man blinked at her. She didn’t let her smile drop. “I asked why you and Tom are on the rocks.”

“Mmmmm.” She nodded once, slow and exaggerated, while drawing out the sound. “I see. Well, in that case, I think you should probably fire your source. Not only is it wholly inappropriate for you to ask me this, because I think we both know you didn’t ask Tom, but if you think either of us would ever be the kind of people to say something about any disagreement to a slimy, soulless person like you, you’re fucking wrong.” A few gasps from other reporters told her she was gaining exactly the kind of attention she didn’t want, didn’t need. But this fucking guy… “You want the truth? I’m here to support this entire amazing cast, but especially Tom. He’s one of the dearest people to my heart. To my life. I would never miss an opportunity to be here, showing the love and admiration he and the entire cast deserve. Goodbye.”

Mel marched into the building, ignoring the questions being shouted at her as she went. Her pulse pounded in her ears and her hands shook so hard she had to grip her clutch with both of them to hide it. She pulled out her meds and popped one quickly, praying for quick relief as she leaned against the wall just inside the door. There was too much of the night left, too much time and not enough energy to save face the whole time if this kept up.

She stayed there for a full minute, breathing slow and deep as her breathing and heart rate evened out.  _ Why, why, why did I take the bait? I’m so fucking stupid. _ She straightened and smoothed out her skirt, eyes roaming the room in search of Thea.  _ Luke is going to kill me. Tom is going to see it. At some point. Fuck, it’s probably already published. _ As an act of self-care, she pushed off the wall and walked into the crowd without checking her phone.  _ If I just push through tonight, I’ll be fine. If I find Thea– _

A hand grabbed her arm as she reached the bar and she turned to find Brie grinning at her, a vision in red.

“Oh my god!”

“Aaaah!”

They threw their arms around each other, laughing and talking over each other too fast to really catch. When Mel pulled back, she kept a grip on Brie’s forearms and admired her friend.

“God, it’s so good to see you! You look incredible!”

“So do you. How’s filming been? I didn’t think you’d make it.”

“Exhausting. But good. Oh! Congrats on Pilot 90s, by the way,” Mel added with a conspiratorial wink.

Brie grinned somehow even wider. “Thank youuuuu! Oh! That reminds me. I want you to meet my boyfriend.”

And just like that, Brie swept her into the crowd to reunite with old friends and colleagues and introduce her to more of the cast and crew of Kong. They were all delightful, as Mel expected. They regaled her with stories of on-set mishaps and the blessing and curse it was to film in Hawaii. There were photography flashes occasionally, jarring Mel from the moment and reminding her that she couldn’t slip here. Fortunately, the others made that easy. Their joy and excitement was infectious.

“Ten minutes to show! Please find your seats and gather anything you need. Thank you!”

“Oh, shit,” Brie said with a chuckle, downing the last of her tequila sunrise and then squeezing Mel’s hand. “Time flies.”

“It really does! Thank you for introducing me to everyone.”

“Of course! You ready to go in?” Brie asked as she looped her arm around her boyfriend’s proffered elbow.

“Yeah.” Mel reached at the table the group had been using for their drinks to grab her clutch…and found it absent. “Shit.” She whirled around, scanning the floor as the panic rose in her throat. “Shit shit shit.” She turned again to tell Brie to go on without her and as she turned, her clutch was pressed into her hand. Mel swallowed hard, following the arm that held it up to its owner’s face, though she already recognized his hand.

Tom was smiling at her, his eyes shining with too much kindness and warmth and his hand was still pressed to hers and he was just  _ right there _ and–

“I think you lost this.” He raised one eyebrow, testing the waters, a trace of something like hope lingering in his words.

“Yeah.” The word was just a breath of a sound. She laughed at herself once, glancing at the floor and pushing her hair behind her ear before she dared look him in the eyes again. “You’re a lifesaver. I was just about to break into full cardiac arrest.”

A flash of light to her left, his right. A camera capturing them both looking at each other, hands almost holding each other over the tiny, useless, obscene purse. Tom glanced the photographer as if on autopilot, releasing her hand and slipping his arm around her waist while flashing a blinding smile to the lens. Mel followed suit, head swimming and breath coming in shallow bursts.  _ God, his hands. _ Warmth spread over her cheeks, which she was sure would be captured on film, and then the photographer moved on.  _ Where did Brie and Alex go? _ Tom let his arm fall and placed both hands in his pockets, but remained standing close. Mel fidgeted with the purse, her own hands at a loss.

“It’s good to–”

“I’m glad you–”

They both laughed, easing some of the tension out of the air between them.

“Five minutes to show!”

“ _ Shit _ .” Mel shook her head but it still swam with too many words, her tongue too heavy to speak and his eyes too piercing to look at. She settled her gaze on the floor. “I’m sorry. I–”

“I’m glad you’re here.”

She did look at him then, a familiar prick stinging in her eyes, and pressed her lips together. “Yeah. Yeah, me too.”

“I think we have to–”

“Of course. Go on in.”

“Mel.”

Her lips parted of their own volition as he said her name, a sigh fighting its way out of her. “Yes?”

He took one of her still fidgeting hands in his and squeezed it. “I heard you. Outside on the carpet.”

The color drained from Mel’s face. “You what?”

“Two minutes!”

“God- _ fucking _ -dammit.” She shot a glare at the call boy.

“Will you be at the after party?” He was pulling her along now as they ducked into the dim lights of the theater.

“I’d planned on it.”

Tom beamed, luminescent in the dark, and kissed her hand. “Perfect. I’ll see you then.”

As he made it into his seat, the director, who was in the middle of introducing the movie, cracked a joke at his expense. The theater laughed, varying persons applauding. Tom made some kind of remark she couldn’t make out from the wing, but it made everyone laugh again. And then the introduction continued, and she stayed frozen there.

_ He…heard me. He heard what I said. He was kind. He kissed me. _

_ Fuck fuck  _ fuck _. _

After five more minutes, she made her way to her seat where Thea was already settled, giving her the human equivalent of the eyes emoji. Once Mel was settled in and people were only staring at the screen, Thea leaned in close.

“Was he late because of you?”

Mel nodded once, eyes locked on the screen and fully unwilling to look at her friend.

Thea exhaled a kind of laugh. “I told you so.”

Mel pinched her arm, making Thea laugh soundlessly again, and then the movie started, effectively stopping them both.

Mel didn’t catch a single word from the film.

_ He doesn’t hate me. _

Once it was over, they sat through the closing thank you’s and dedications and brief Q&A. Mel tried to watch everyone, she really did. She tried to pay attention to the discussion, to the jokes and the sincere thanks. The only thing she could manage was to study the line of Tom’s frame in that suit, the easy grace and charm he exuded in every movement and smile, the sin of hiding his hands in his pants pockets.

The way his eyes kept darting around the room sporadically throughout the Q&A, and the way they stopped once his eyes found hers.

Thea looped her arm through Mel’s as they made their way out, grinning ear to ear as they descended into the light of the lobby. Mel smiled too, unable to help herself, nor could she stop the continuous flaming of her cheeks. To keep herself from looking for his tall head above the crowd like a lovesick school girl, she turned to Thea.

“You want to go to the after-party, right?”

Thea’s laugh was raucous enough to draw attention from others. “I thought you didn’t want to. I seem to remember a very important, very pressing shoot tomorrow morning.”

Mel pressed her tongue against her bottom lip to fight her smirk. “It can’t hurt to have a few drinks, can it?”

“Mmm, yes, drinks with no ulterior reason or motive at all. I love those.”

“Fuck off.” Mel shoved Thea’s arm away, grinning. “Are you coming or not?”

“And leave you to the wolves in this vulnerable state? Of course I’m coming.”

“Vulnerable state?” Mel laughed out the words, shaking her head and waving down a car. “You’re really on it tonight, huh?”

“Just doing my best to keep you humble.” The car pulled up and Thea kissed her cheek before sliding into the back seat. Mel rolled her eyes and followed her, eternally grateful for the reminders that she wasn’t alone.

The party was glittering and full and loud even from the outside when they arrived. They were barely out of the car with enough time for Mel to reach for Thea’s hand in a sudden panic, before Tom spotted them and walked out to great them amidst the flash of cameras, fully abandoning whoever he’d been speaking to. When he got to Mel he leaned down and embraced her in front of god and everyone, igniting a fresh wave of flashing light, feeling as warm and as  _ home _ as Mel remembered. Her breath caught in her throat while she pulled him closer, reveling in the scent of him.

Thea coughed once when the hug went over long and Tom released Mel first, aiming a grin at Thea and hugging her as well, though certainly much shorter and without the desperate fervency he showed moments before. “You look beautiful as always,” he said to Thea, grinning to her and then Mel as he placed his hands in his pockets.

“Yeah, yeah.” Thea waved a hand. “We’ve known each other long enough, Tom. Don’t waste your charm on me.”

“I have to practice somewhere.” His grin was all trouble and no bite.

Thea rolled her eyes. “Insufferable. Are we going to this party or are we going to let the vultures descend?”

“Please, no. I don’t think I can take any more of that.”

Tom held out his elbow for Mel and she took it, following his lead and unabashedly grinning up at him. Thea made a face at a paparazzi at Tom’s other elbow, unoffered and hanging loose, and garnered them a few laughs as they made it inside.

“Are you two gonna be alright if I go find Sam?”

“No, we will surely despair and be unable to survive,” Mel quipped, smirking.

Thea flipped her off as she walked into the bustle, prompting a chuckle from Tom.

“Well.” The low tone of his voice drew her eyes up to meet his. “Care for a drink?”

They weren’t able to talk like Mel wanted, really. Even if it wasn’t a party for a movie he was the star of, events with nosy ears and eyes were hardly the place where she wanted to lay her heart out to him. Tom was the  _ star _ of this party though, and everyone treated him like it, too. They caught a few private words ( _ How’s your family? What else are you working on? How are you?) _ and Mel wondered if his questions held the same hunger as hers:  _ What have I missed? _ Tom was pulled from corner to corner to admirer after admirer, but he pulled her along after him for as long as she let him.

It had only been two hours, but she stopped them as they were on their way to talk to some executive of something by grabbing his hand. They hadn’t touched each other except for their hug unless Tom was leading her somewhere. Now, her touch froze him mid step.

“I have to go.”

“Oh.” The way his face fell a little made her stomach twist in a warm way. “So soon?”

“I’m sorry.” She squeezed his hand and gave him a small smile. “I have a shoot in the morning and I don’t want to look like an absolute zombie.”

“Ah.” He squeezed her hand back, but didn’t let it go. “That makes sense.”

Mel worried her lip. “Would you want–”

“Can I see you? Soon?”

They both grinned at the way their words fell over each other.

“Lunch tomorrow?” she asked.

“Yes.”

“I’ll decide where to go after my shoot and let you know.”

He bent down and pulled her into another crushing, body melding hug. Mel could feel herself blushing and grinning like a mad woman, but she couldn’t fight the flutter of hope in her chest. The way he held her too long and lingered on letting her go? That had to mean  _ something _ .

She backed away from him, smiling a secret smile. “Tomorrow.”

“I can’t wait.” He bit his lip, but a grin still broke across his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -dramatic music- What could POSSIBLY happen next??
> 
> Thank you so much for reading, you lovely beacon of goodness!!! <3
> 
> Any comments/kudos/what-have-yous are appreciated! ^_^


	2. March 9, 2017

**March 9, 2017**

**Thea Bishop**

At the hotel. Be safe, and tell me

when you get home. Love you!

**_Seen 12:05am_ **

After texting Thea upon her arrival, Mel tore off her clothes, threw her phone onto the bed, and followed with herself, face first. 

She was still smiling. The warm flutter in her stomach had spread to her chest and only gotten hotter. The remaining alcohol in her system swirled around in her thoughts, blurring her attempts at processing the events of the night. But damned if she wasn’t going to think this through. Their lunch could only be an unloading of  _ everything _ , and she wanted to be prepared for any outcome, but every time she tried to reconcile their arguments and his behavior at the premiere, she kept getting distracted by his  _ eyes _ and  _ smile _ and  _ hands _ that flared in her memory.

She made some sort of unidentifiable noise (even to herself), then got up and paced.

No amount of reexamining made it make sense, and every time she did, she only had more questions. He’d missed her, but how? Immediately, like a limb severed in a violent blow, or slowly, the way a sickness eats away at you? Or worse, maybe fondly, with nothing below that surface ache? Had he looked up her work? Tracked her time away from him like she did his? Why had he told that GQ journalist that “the most important love is the love you give away, and I’ve been generous to the wrong people”? Who  _ should _ he have been generous to?  _ Me? _ Why had he kept her with him all night but never once even sent her a text in over six months?

_ I can’t take this. _ She picked up her phone and dialed Luke’s number. It rang three times before he answered.

“Hello?” His voice was low with sleep in her ear.

“Shit, I’m sorry, Luke. I didn’t even check for the time.”

“It’s fine.” There was a rustling and he yawned. “Is something wrong?”

“Um, not exactly. I mean, probably not. Hopefully not.” She blushed and shook her head, altogether too sober suddenly. “I need to know what hotel Tom is staying at, and, um, what room.”

He was quiet for too long, each second ticking her chest tighter and tighter.

“Luke?”

“What the hell is going on?”

“It’s nothing to be worried about,” Mel placated. “I just need to talk to him.”

“Why can’t you text him to  _ ask _ where his room is then?”

Mel blushed again. “I– Please? Please, Luke, I need this. Trust me.”

He grumbled something under his breath that she didn’t catch, followed by more rustling, and then he told her the hotel and the room. “Mel, I swear to god, if I wake up to tabloids and TMZ saying  _ anything _ –”

“That won’t happen. Well, not about this, anyway.” Mel rolled her eyes. “You know me better than that.”

“I hope so. Wait, what do you mean ‘not about this’?”

“It’s nothing to worry about, trust me. Now get some sleep.”

He hung up without further fuss, and the answering silence made the pounding in her chest immediately apparent. She grabbed her room key and made for the door, getting as far as the handle before realizing that the only thing she was wearing was her underwear. “Shit,” she muttered under her breath as she rushed back to her dresser and rummaged through her overnight bag. She slipped on her sweat pants and a t-shirt and threw her hair up in a loose bun, swearing when she nearly fell or when she couldn’t find a hair tie, then grabbed her hotel key  _ and _ phone and swung the door open.

Tom was standing there, panting, his hair disheveled. He was still in his suit, though now he was missing his tie and the first two buttons were undone, and his blue coat thrown over it and hanging open. His loose fist hovered over the air where the door had just been.

“Mel.”

“Tom.”

Neither of their voices were loud, but it felt earth shattering. Mel was acutely aware of her haphazard outfit as Tom raked his eyes over her, while he still stood godlike in a fucking suit.

“I was just coming to–”

“Can I kiss you?” he interrupted.

A small exhale left her, the rest of her sentence drying up on her tongue.

“God,  _ please _ .”

Tom swept into the room in one step, and then everything around her was him. His lips crashed against hers hungrily, devouring and searching and drawing a moan from her when his tongue glanced hers. She dug her nails into his neck and pulled him closer, biting his bottom lip softly. Now it was his turn to moan, the sound rough and wanton in a way that made Mel’s stomach twist. Tom didn’t break the kiss as he slammed the door shut behind him, and still didn’t break it as he shook his coat off to the floor, and still didn’t break it when his hands were finally at her waist and in her hair. Mel was fighting a grin beneath the push and pull of him, her heart pounding between elation and  _ need _ . It was all so much, all at once, and all for  _ her _ .

Tom pushed her against the wall and slid his hand up her shirt, snaking his way up to her bra, when Mel finally broke the kiss. Tom, for his part, stared at her like a wounded puppy, his mouth still partially open.

“Wait, wait,  _ wait _ a second.” She laid her hands flat against his chest, the damn suit jacket and shirt still a barrier between their skin.

“Why?” His pupils were wide as he grinned down at her. He bit her neck lightly and kissed the same spot.

“Because…” Mel pushed him back gently enough he had to look at her, see the ache and want that still lingered in her eyes even as she asked him to stop. “Because,” she puffed, slightly out of breath, “I need–” He was staring at her with those eyes she knew better than her own, always warm and welcoming for her. But right then as she stopped him? Full of fear.  _ He’s afraid of me, of what I’ll say.  _ “God, I’m so sorry, Tom.” Her eyes were already welling over. It was all too much. She shook her head and looked at his shoes, but his hands captured either side of her face and pulled her gaze back to him.

“I’m sorry too. I’ve been a git. I’ve been worse than that. I’ve treated you so poorly, love.”

Mel laughed once, thick and humorless. “I’ve been awful. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” She was sobbing. Here he was, holding her and  _ wanting _ her, and she was blubbering like a fucking baby.

Tom pulled her close and let her bury her face in his chest. She stayed there for as long as she could bear, inhaling the scent of him and memorizing the way his arms fit around her so perfectly. If he turned away from her now, she never wanted to forget it.

Finally, she leaned back and looked up at him, hastily wiping away the tears. He kept his arms around her waist. “Look at me.” She chuckled once. “Just as much a mess as ever.”

“You’re not a mess.”

She spared him one dispassionate look before shaking her head at him. “All I want to do is tear your clothes off and have my way with you, finally, but I’m so fucking scared it feels like I can’t breathe.”

He traced his thumb over her cheek, wiping away an errant tear. “Why? What are you afraid of?”

“ _ You _ . Us. I– This is what I want, Tom.  _ You _ are what I want. Not just tonight. Not just for the weekend. Not for me to brush it aside or for us to pretend it’s something that it isn’t.” She reached up and brushed a stray curl off his forehead and fought to keep her voice from cracking. “I love you.” It was a broken, thick whisper. “I’m an idiot, and I love you so goddamn much. I always have.”

Now Tom’s eyes shone and wavered, but then he was kissing her again. Softly now, with a tenderness and depth they hadn’t shared in…years. His tears splattered against her cheeks as he pulled her closer, or maybe she was still crying. Maybe they were both so sorry and so happy that the only thing their bodies knew to do about it was touch and cry.

Tom broke the kiss and leaned his forehead against hers. “I love you so much, you beautiful mess. I missed you.”

Mel laughed, a cracked open kind of sound of something that had waited too long to be released. “I missed you. So much.”

He kissed her again, long and languid and dragging his fingers all over her as he pulled her to the bed and hovered over her.

“Stay with me,” Mel whispered to him between fevered kisses and clothes falling away from them both. “Please.”

“For as long as you’ll have me.”

And then neither of them had anything to say that couldn’t be better communicated through a touch or a kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short and sweet, babey <3
> 
> Thank you so so much for reading!!! Please stay safe out there and be washing your hands and hydrating!

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you, thank you, thank youuuuu for reading. You're wonderful. Never forget that!!!
> 
> Any comments/kudos/what-have-yous appreciated! <3


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